扯蛋圣诞史

一个满嘴跑火车，脖颈有一颗黑痣的女主持人。能够以各种奇怪刁钻角度把各种专家问到哑口无言，但最终还是败给了小孩子们的童言无忌。对于一个历史性节日，一个普罗大众都了解的概念加以解构后娱乐化的解读。时而是客观可信的史料真相，时而是断章取义的段子开涮，时而还是用电影电视片段重新剪辑的恶搞。如果你喜欢英式幽默的话，肯定能笑出八块腹肌，像我这样笑点很高的，都能被一些匪夷所思的想法刺激到噗嗤一笑！

总的来说，如果你想以这30分钟认真学习知识，那就别看了，如果你想换种角度，开开脑洞，那么一定不能错过！

主持人菲洛米娜(Philomena)向专家学者求教，专家说年底庆祝始于“冬至日”，菲洛米娜问“冬自日？”专家说“至”，又问“痔？”
菲洛米娜介绍圣诞节的起源，扯着扯着扯到贫富差距：好孩子会有礼物，其实坏孩子也会有礼物，唯一没有礼物的是穷孩子。
圣诞节起源于异教徒的狂欢，菲洛米娜问专家：人类起源之前就有异教徒吗？专家说：肯定是有了人类才有异教徒。又扯蛋地问：异教徒用四肢走路不累吗？专家一脸愕然，无奈又解释：异教徒也像人一样用下肢走路……
圣诞成了痛饮之日时，菲洛米娜问另一专家“痛饮是不是在装逼”；圣诞成了狂食之日时，问专家肉吃多了，挤成一大股粪便从后窍排出是不是很困难……
菲洛米娜一本正经地问小朋友：你认为英国脱欧之后圣诞老人还被允许呆在我们国家吗？
问另一专家圣诞的食品类型，专家介绍了宴席开始时多种开胃菜，菲洛米娜都不感兴趣，专家介绍了一种面包酱汁，即面包碎末溶于牛奶中，菲洛米娜说“感觉像是……精液……”专家一脸黑……

《黑镜》编剧查理·布鲁克在BBC有一档讽刺栏目，其中有个虚拟主持人Philomena Cunk大受欢迎，查理索性将其释放出来做了几个独立节目，片中P姐脑洞大过天，围绕每期不同的主题，明明是向专家学者求教，却总是搞得对方一脸黑线，一队乌鸦眼前飞过，无数羊驼内心奔腾，是我所见过的最好的谈话终结者。其实，惹人欢笑的同时，片中蕴藏着丰富的事件背景，信息量极大，目前网上放出的资源有两期，分别是《扯蛋圣诞节》、《扯蛋莎翁史》

'Santa has a list of good and bad children. The good children will get lots of presents and so, it turns out, will be the bad children. In fact, only ones who won’t get very much are the poor children- that’s because Santa judges a child’s goodness based largely on parental income.’

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'Today, some people choose to turn the outside of their homes into a giant Advent Crown. A jolly house covered in electric lights maybe expensive and use a lot of power, but it’s the perfect way to cheer up a world worried about climate change and dwindling recourse.'

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'Of course, in Queen Victorian times, only the super rich had fancy decorations. Ordinary, poor people had to celebrate Christmas by coughing and counting their surviving offspring.'

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'Although it was scheduled to be over by Christmas, the war with Germany lasted four years. Mechanised conflict is the most horrifying legacy of the 20th century, as anyone who’s seen Robot Wars will agree. But at Christmas 1914, there was a brief ceasefire. The fighting stopped. Soldiers got out of their holes and joined together in a place called No Man’s Land showing that, even at moments of peace, men will still divide into two sides and try to beat one another. The Great War claimed over 17 million lives, making it the worst incident of football-related violence of all time.'

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'TV’s becoming a thing of the olden past, like sundials or ploughs, because today, everyone has their own little screen, so they can ignore their immediate surroundings on an individual basis instead of as part of a collective effort. We’ve often told to feel sorry for those who are alone at Christmas, but these days that’s all of us and it’s brilliant.'

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Hear hear.